I looked down at my paper at 12:44 AM
and I felt old
not age-wise necessarily
but slower for no reason
like i had hung with slugs and sloths for too long
been held back
by Ss and Ls
and been muddled and muddied
by what was to follow
I looked down at my paper at 12:45 AM
and I felt lonely
in every sense of the word
really
like a pianist who didn’t practice
when the answer was right there
black and white — all along
with an option to keep playing
I looked down at my paper at 12:46 AM
and I felt weak
mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally
without reason to move limbs
without surrender to a nightfall
without the curiosity of a daybreak
hollow in my skin and bones
I looked down at my paper at 12:47 AM
and I felt numb
my memory was waning
and my toes were getting cold
my vision suddenly blurring
lost all sense of feeling
I looked down at my paper at 12:48 AM
and I felt lost
on my own selfish journey
a vain pathetic poem
with no end or beginning
I looked down at my paper at 12:49 AM
and felt what I was missing
holes in all my body
shards of glass in all four tires
I looked down at my paper at 12:50 AM
and I felt scared
questions with no answers