i.
I watched you frolic with your arm in mine
shift through the pavement of the jungle
in the lower east side
amongst the mahjong regulars
and the chain-smoking staples
delicately passing ever-so-slightly
through a foreign land
but then you slipped
unlocking the panic, hereditary
a gasp of fear echoing
from you
and reverberating throughout me
scraping your hand that has worked so hard
minimal blood, but a stain of guilt
—the mahjong eyes momentarily glancing—
I should have protected you better
…if only I was a real doctor
ii.
Everything was going so well—
nothing of note, another wave on a coast
of quotidian plutonium:
bubbling energy waiting to explode
tempering the openings and opportunities—
I think of how quickly we can jump from point A
to point E
but after all of these lessons, meticulous steps
it’s clear skipping fails walking
and in this instance…I tried to run
up the stairs like a mad man loose
you trailed and slipped and broke your front tooth
teeth, all of them it seemed
I watched your eyes water and mouth start to bleed
the fear creeping in like a red river sea
the sounds of my errors, a recurring theme
shame and shame again, I feel so ashamed
the sounds of my failures, invading my brain
I should have protected you better
…if only I was a real doctor