This past Saturday I made my debut on a Broadway stage in MTC’s “Prayer for the French Republic.” It’s insane to me to read that line back and know that it’s true—that it actually happened. That after years of acting, and auditioning, and doubting, and rerouting, that I was able to perform in a show on Broadway. It was something that I had dreaming in my head since I was a little kid,
It made me reflect on my first ever stage production in first grade or so when my elementary school performed “America Before Columbus” through a company called Broadway Bound, which was led by the late, great Jimmy Nixon.
I would love to say that I have some awesome story written up detailing the ins-and-outs of the magical weekend, and maybe I will days, months, or years from now after appropriate reflection, but for now, I’d say that what I’m left with is such an unbelievably immense amount of gratitude and appreciation for everyone that made it as special as it was.
This milestone was made possible my numerous amounts of people. Literally everyone involved in this production, cast and crew, front of house and backstage—everyone made it a joy.
It’s not every day you’re able to work on a play once, let alone work on it in some capacity three times, but that’s been the case with this show. It feels like just yesterday that I was in New York early 2022 to understudy this show off-Broadway at City Center. It was such a treat to be able to observe it, to learn how a great show can come together, and to watch how audiences absorbed it and were taken by a sprawling and epic chronicle of the Jewish experience.
Then, towards the end of a school year in which I had spent just about every day substitute teaching, floating in my acting life, finding myself at another professional crossroads, and wondering where I wanted to live and what I wanted to do, I had the opportunity to audition for a production of “Prayer” at Huntington Theater in Boston. After sending a tape and going through a call back, I turned the page, figuring that that was that and continued with teaching. And then, one day after finishing up my last class, I received a phone call that revealed that I had gotten the part for the Huntington production.
The opportunity to work at Huntington was such a beautiful experience for me. It was my first non-understudy show since late 2018, when I had done a play in San Francisco. It felt like such a blessing and another moment for me to regain some confidence in the work when it had certainly been waning. I was cast as Daniel, had a great dressing room roommate in Tony Estrella and got to form some wonderful bonds with a great cast and crew. One of the craziest and most awesome parts of that journey (besides discovering “Stop Making Sense,” the Talking Heads concert film) was witnessing my castmate Nael Nacer go from understudying one of the lead roles (Charles), to finding out he would be portraying Charles during opening (and for the run of the show) in a matter of a few days, to then closing the show and learning he would be reprising the role of Charles on Broadway. Sheer insanity.
Which brings us to present day. “Prayer” opened on Broadway on January 9th. About three weeks later, on the morning of January 27th, I was told by stage management that I would be performing as Daniel for the matinee show.
All things considered, despite a bit of an adrenaline jolt, I thought I handled the news pretty calmly…
…which is a lie, because I immediately went for a run to shake out the rush that was permeating though my body. I reached out to as many people as possible to let them know the new circumstances, got my stuff together, and took the train to the theater as early as I could.
When I tell you that from the moment I got into the theater it felt like I was being completely taken care of. And I must stress that the energy and positivity that permeates through this production feels like a bit of an anomaly. I’m not saying that I’ve worked on productions that haven’t felt like a safe, constructive, inviting space, but maybe all I’m really saying is is that the way everyone does their part on this show to create that welcoming, loving, “I got you”, type of environment is just special. Any question I had, there was an answer. Any help I needed, there was an assist waiting for me. Did I want to go over anything? Did I need a vocal warm up? Did I need to review any blocking? Entrance or exit help? It was insane. But it really was everybody. And the overwhelming feeling was “We’re gonna take care of you.”
Before I knew it we were all on stage, loosening our voices, getting the mind and body ready, prepping for the show. Before I knew it, we heard our 30 minute call and production stage manager, Hodge, announced that I would be making my debut, to which everyone in their respective dressing rooms started yelling and shouting and cheering and clapping, sending me into the stratosphere. Before I knew it, I was in my temporary dressing room getting pep talks and support from Tony and Nael. Before I knew it, my face was covered in makeup and my mic situated and ready to go thanks to Lily and Jen, and we were almost at places. And then before I knew it, we were at places, and I had my stage manager in crime, Ashley-Rose, leading the way to make sure I was all set to go. Every show I’ve understudied, three in total, have all been with Hodge and Ashley-Rose.
When the first cue light went off and I entered the stage, thus began the fever dream. As ridiculous as it sounds, I remember almost nothing of that show. I could only tell you that my feet were somehow on the ground, somehow moving one in front of the other, and somehow getting from point A to point B, and so on. Act 1 passed. I stepped into the darkness (literally) of intermission and wondered how it had passed so quickly. I also miraculously led my stage sister Fran off stage in pitch black, which might have been the true biggest accomplishment all weekend. Act 2 passed. When Act 3 began, we were all at the seder table for Passover. I began to notice the lights. I looked at all of the characters. All of my scene partners. And I looked around, from person to person, and thought to myself:
“What. The Fuck. Is. Happening?”
It really did feel at that moment that I had lost the entire play. I thought I was on another planet. I didn’t know where I was. I didn’t know what any of my lines were. I was just sort of in awe.
And then I saw Tony Edwards talking and I began to listen and I began to reorient myself and found myself back where I needed to be with some time to spare before mentioning the karpas, the greens for spring. Greens dipped in salt water. A symbol of the tears shed by our ancestors.
Whew…
There was another moment later in that scene where I go to open a door and saw a lion emerge, emitting a roar to protect her family. That was pretty surreal. I’ll never forget that as long as I live.
Next thing I know we’re in the last scene and we’re getting our luggage for the final goodbye.
And suddenly I’m back in darkness, surrounded by castmates, exchanging hugs, getting ready for the curtain call.
Then the curtain call. Damn. Look at all those people out there. They’re clapping. They’re crying. We told the story. One bow goes by. Two. A third. And then the cast is making space for me to take in the moment and once again I’m shot it into the stratosphere. What an amazing feeling this is. Back into the darkness of the wings. Circling around the stage to get back to my dressing room. But then as I get to the hall, there is the cast and the crew and everyone is here, everyone, making noise, showing so much love that I wonder how to receive it. I am overwhelmed. I am overjoyed. I am transported. I remember being on the other side of this when my fellow understudy Lauriel went on four times as two different characters over the span of a few days. I remember how amazing I felt for her. Clapping. Beaming. Yelling with so much pride. Reveling in her smile and the happiness after her debut. This must be how I felt. It is how I felt. And then the walk up the stairs to the dressing room. And finally I was able to take a seat. And breathe.
Walking outside some time later and being greeted by so many of my dearest friends was the ultimate blessing, the cherry on top. It made me so happy to know they were in the audience for such a special moment in my life. The fun continued with a nice meal afterwards, catching up, talking about the whole experience, fully enjoying each other’s company, so much love in one space. And then I had to head back to the theater to do it all again!
When it was all said and done, I was able to perform three times in total—two on Saturday and once on Sunday. The most invaluable part of getting the two extra reps after the debut was the sensation that I was starting to get more comfortable with each passing show. And while I am proud of myself that I was starting to find my way little by little, I really do owe it to the cast and crew for being right there with me, helping me the entire way.
None of this would have been possible without that best cast and without that best crew. The amount of positive reinforcement and words of encouragement I was getting from everyone was crazy. To all of you, to the friends, and family, the people I had never met before who I got to speak to after the shows, all of you who sent me messages and voicemails filled with love and support and congratulations…where would I be without you?
I so hope that I have the privilege of performing on these stages again in the future, but for now, I look forward to resuming my post covering two awesome actors, being with my fellow understudies, and doing all we can to continue to support this awesome play and this awesome production.
I will never forget the moments you gave me; the words of wisdom, alley oops, turntable hilarity, and all of the beautiful memories, which included a whole Gipsy King jukebox warm-up?! I mean, come on!
Thank you to all of you for giving me one of the best weekends of my life.
