i told myself
i wouldn’t go there
looking
searching
hoping
to find her
in that place
under those lights
at that time
of the year
the heat of the summer
a tourist jungle
the love of winter
a bundled bear
Times Square
an ugly face
no known escape
like Kaa the snake
pulling
squeezing
choking me
i told myself
there’s a formula
a way it happens
a way we meet
according to
nobody
according to
me
that time of day
on that type of street
that’s the way
it’s supposed to go
not in Dumbo
not Central Park
but a crowded train
a restaurant
not the pier
not the Upper West
but a chance encounter
happenstance
not Brooklyn Heights
not a high rise building
but the dmv
or greenwich village
are you a Yankee fan
wear lots of
makeup
do you work
in tech
do you have
a checkbook
do you frequent
oysters
happy hours
are you always drunk
tequila sours
are you Republican
have summer homes
can pack a house
feel all alone
are you
what i’m
supposed to want
the lottery
should i
feel
so lucky
i know everything
that i don’t want you
to be
i know everywhere
that i don’t want to meet
you
maybe i should sit
in the middle of Times Square
just let it be
and wait for you