i didn’t know—
didn’t know
that an animal could shake
spasm
and lose control
fall down
helplessly
seize up
from a sudden spell
the five of us
watching
with eyes wide of fear
the father inching closer
to calm
the sharp jerks
convulsing
us waiting
in hushed breaths
for the bout to subside
for the shock to be over
[his brother nearby
wishing it would stop
hoping
that his own shocks would not come]
could he think
could he remember
could he move
could he...
or was he rendered
defenseless
nothing to do
but let the waves rush over
a moment made longer
a black spot stretched farther
rearing its head again
i had never seen
a dog cry before—
[to know one’s history
is not to have seen
a history unfold]
the spread of tears
turned to snot
his scrambling eyes
looking lost
scared
wandering and wondering
another blank space
another day
mired in black
and to return…
but when?
as he looked around
paws shuffling
aimlessly
his hiccuping brain
wondering