my mind’s been floating in
fairy dust
energy that gave me wings
but kept me grounded
fantasies confused with honesties
imagery with golden frames
exchanged with
fingerprinted film—grainy edges
doubt
i’m aware now that there are triggers
that do not require an index finger
but words and intonations
bring me back
faux caffeine boosts
late night crashes
waning oxygen
a mood in ruin to ruin my mood
it’s just not there yet
not ingrained in my head yet
not memorized or routined
strategized or second nature
i still forget—scatterbrained
what to do and when to use it
i doubt that—no…
it’s unlikely that—no…
it’s impossible that—no…
if only i would—no…
i fear that—no…
—
I know that—
I know that—
I know that—
I know that—…ok